It is Thursday night and Roy sits in his room relaxes from a stressful day, a knock on the door, then two rings. Roy’s roommate going to the door “did someone ordered food?”

He opens the apartment door and sees 3 women standing there: a grandmother, a mother and a 15 years old daughter – “Is Roy here?” the mother yells.  A large dog runs into the apartment.

“Is Roy here?” she yells again.

Roy comes to the door – “What happened?”

The mother – “My T.V broke and we have to see PROJECT RUNWAY”. She pushes Roy and then the whole gang comes in. “Where is the living room? Wow what a cool apartment”. When they find the living room they sit casually, opening a Diet coke cans and raising the T.V volume.

Roy – “Can you please keep it down my…”

Grandmother – “Shhhh…I can’t hear”

Roy – “Yaa, but my roo..”

Mother – “This is the most important part of the show; we can’t hear when you are talking”

Roy goes to his room; the dog runs all over the apartment and then goes to the kitchen and start digging in the trash. The roommate comes to Roy’s room.

Roommate – “Who the F is she?”

Roy – “She lives upstairs”

Roommate – “Do you know her?”

Roy – “We said Hello a few times”

Roommate – “and?”

Roy – “and that’s it”

Roommate – “So what is she doing in our apartment?”

Roy – “I have no idea, I’m in shock”

Mother – “If you want us to go just say so”

Roy – Shrinks his shoulders “Let them see Project Runway what can we do”

Roommate – “Just keep the dog out of the kitchen”.

Project runway was over 20 minutes ago and the gang is still in the living room. Roy comes in to see what is going on.

Grandmother – “I wonder who is going to leave next”

The 15 years old daughter hangs from Roy’s gymnastics bar – “Mommy how do I do this?”

Roy – “Please don’t do this the lintel can break”

Mother – “How crazy are we, coming to your house like that?”

The Girl – “Mommy how do you do this?”

Roy – “Please don’t do this the lintel can break” he tries to talk to her.


The lintel break.

The mother – “this is a pre war building you should not hang things from your lintel. We really have to go and by the way wash your face you have blood all over. Thanks, by now” and the leave.

Roy runs to the bathroom, the Roommate runs after him. He looks at the mirror and he is covered with blood. The gymnastics bar hit his face.

The neighbor never called to see how Roy feels.

We swear this is a true story. Roy swear he will never open the door for is F crazy person again.